My last night of College

I was walking around State College today thinking about this being my last night of College — that never again will I experience this feeling of being an undergraduate, of having my entire life ahead of me with nothing to do with my time but live, love, and learn. 

As I walked I tried so hard to capture this moment, to solidify this feeling and place it on the mantle with all the other things that are precious in my soul. When I found that I couldn’t do this, I began to ask: why was it that I was ferreting about in my thoughts trying to catch moments of time, like meadows of fireflies, in test-tubes only for the sake of later being able to point at them with oily fingers — as if they wouldn’t die anyway! 

Did I even bother to ask time (the freest of free-spirits!) whether or not he wanted to be caught? How rude of me, I thought (is that why he eludes us at every corner?)! Perhaps instead of filling my mantle with jars of dead insects and rotting beauty, it might be more of a cosmic courtesy to simply APPRECIATE this moment, to value it for it’s freedom to yawn into the past, rather than snare it in selfish coffins — to let the moment not occupy a SPACE withIN me, but rather let it make an IMPRESSION ON me? Perhaps then this moment would become a PART of me, a part of who I am, and therefore be truly MINE – mine, yet without my possessing it? Aren’t these the things that are truly ours – the things we have even when we don’t possess them?

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